I’m out.
One word. The difference between an AFLM player joining his team for their first finals campaign in years and being suspended for 4 weeks. A tiny little adjective or pronouns outside the binary. Enough to send bigots spiralling and playing into idiotic culture wars.
The first time in my life I could name racism I was 16. I had experienced racism much earlier in life, but it took till I was 16 to not only be acutely aware of it, but to name it. I was able to identify it and call it out. It was a powerful and pivotal moment. I started exploring my sexuality in my early 20’s, and very quickly realised I was Queer or pansexual and kinky, not vanilla. It was not much later I started doing sex work - I was in my second year of uni when I started working at a massage parlour in Sydney. I have been called more names then I care to recount over my lifetime, both to my face and behind my back. I may be unaffected by the words, but I am unquestionably affected by the power structures and systems behind these words - these slurs. These words quite simply don’t exist in a vacuum.
I have never been afraid to be myself, boldly and unapologetically stand in my power and truth. I don’t adapt to be more palatable for these power structures or systems, no one should have to, but I understand why some people do.
I can’t hide my heritage, and I won’t hide my sexuality or sex work identity. I choose to do this as an act of resistance, defiance, a big fuck you to white supremacy and the patriarchy. These power structures want people like me to be silent, invisible, and ultimately not exist. By refusing to live in the shadows or disappear, I challenge these power structures and hopefully empower others to do the same.
History, and recent events are a clear illustration that there is still a long way to go, and white supremacy, the patriarchy and misogyny harm so many people. One word. Another homophobic slur used in an AFLM game and the ensuing debacle, in 2025. Surprising? No, definitely disappointing and unacceptable. I think about all the personnel - players and others, in the AFLM system who are members of the LGBTIQA+ community. The members, fans and anyone connected to the sport who are also members of the community.
It is no secret I love AFL. I grew up playing sports, was a group fitness instructor for years, and have always been acutely aware of the impact staying active has on my mental health. Of late, AFL has been my escape, distraction from the heaviness of world politics and atrocities. Then one word serves as a harsh reminder the ugliness of hate and bigotry found everywhere else still poisons this escape- this sport I love.
One word, reductive. It is so much more then one word. It is the system and power structures that support that one word. That make it unsafe for men to be open about and secure in their sexuality in these spaces. Sexuality isn’t a choice, our words are. One word can harm, can serve to uphold these systems and power structures. Just as easily as one word can hold space, create a safer space, empower someone.
It is with this, I am resolute in bringing love to my practice of femdom and BDSM. It is an ugly reminder that misogyny and the patriarchy harm us all - men included. I create a space that gives people - men included - permission to be submissive, vulnerable, tender. A space to explore sexuality, gender expression and more in a world that still so badly wants to suppress and control these things in people. This, is my love letter to all those the world wants to discard, and My ultimate escape.